It is now clear that I’m badly under-slept again; and since I had a second cup of tea before I realized just how bad the situation was, I don’t think napping is going to be an option.

The number-one problem I have with motivation and ability to get things done is sleep.  I have a sleep disorder.  I do all the things you’re supposed to do, and usually they work pretty well.  Then sometimes the cats go crazy, like two nights ago, or other stuff happens.  Last night, I’m pretty sure that the base problem is that someone at the restaurant where we had lunch screwed up my order and fed me something I don’t tolerate well, so I was awake in the middle of the night for awhile and then slept fitfully for the rest of the night.  But since I’m used to being not-quite-rested, it can be hard, first thing in the morning, to gauge just how bad the “fitful” was.

Bad, apparently.  When I’m well-rested, it’s amazing how well I cope with stuff and how much I can get through; and when I’m not, d-u-u-u-de, I am s-u-u-u-c-h a slacker.

The thing is, it’s still spring break.  I don’t want to waste it.  I want to either get something done, or have fun.  The problem with being this tired, yet caffeinated, is that nothing really seems fun, but I can’t find my motivation, either.  I’ve been posting as a record of what I have done, rather than focusing on what I plan to do; but today is going to go right down the tubes if I don’t make some effort in some direction.

The one thing I’ve managed to do today is to finish, almost, the massive list-of-all-the-things.  The not-yet-finished chunk involves looking over my syllabi and figuring out what is yet to come before the end of the term.  So I’m going to do that; and I also plan to walk 4-5 miles again today.  I need to pay some bills, and I’m going to do three other House Things, two small and one larger.

I think this is manageable.  If cats, digestion, and other out-of-control circumstances allow decent sleep tonight, then I can work this weekend.  I’d hoped not to, but this is the reality of life with my health problems: I work when I can, rather than on a normal schedule.  Being cross about it doesn’t help (though I am).  Doing things I can manage does help.

And at least I front-loaded the fun part of spring break with all the fun books last weekend, so I don’t feel too cheated!

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5 thoughts on “Recalculating . . .

  1. I empathize heartily with your sleep issues. Cats are a big factor chez moi as well. (Right now, for example, we have an ailing cat confined to the bathroom attached to our bedroom, so at night I’m worrying about her condition, half-listening for any unhappy sounds from her, AND being periodically awakened by the fussing of the other cats, who are obsessed with that closed bathroom door.)

    Many nights my sleep is also interrupted by idiot neighbor noise, unexplained BOOMs in the near distance (cannon fire??), and/or WIND.

    Thanks for reminding me that unproductive days, which can feel like proof that I am hopelessly undisciplined or slow or unorganized, are very often the result of underslept nights.

    May all factors cooperate to let you sleep better next time…

    1. Oh, been there, done that, on the sick cat and the way others feel about closed doors! Are you near a train track? Trains sometimes do something—I don’t know what, maybe involving their brakes—that booms.

      1. Hm, I hadn’t even considered trains. In fact, I do live within hearing distance of a track. The occasional train HORN sounds I actually kind of like. If I imagine the booms as train-related as well, maybe I won’t lie awake wondering what just blew up. Whew!

  2. I am sorry to hear about your sleep disorder. I definitely have those nights where I cannot fall asleep and it is horrible. I hope it gets better love! 😉

    1. Thanks! Nice of you to stop by. I don’t so much mind not being able to fall asleep, because then I can do something else, and I know just how much sleep I’m not getting. What I hate is being semi-asleep but never down far enough to feel rested when I get up.

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