I seem to be on the same wavelength as Nicole and Maggie lately.  I was thinking a few days ago about revisiting a series of posts I wrote in the first year of this blog, to see if I still stand by those ideas.  And then N&M posted on choosing where you live.

Well, here we are:


Even allowing for the job, I have choices about where to live.  I could live where the job is, or I could live partway in between, perhaps nearer some of Sir John’s family.  Where I am now, I can walk to both Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s.  We have contemplated houses, still local, that would not really be walking distance to WF, but certainly bikable.  I think the partway-there solution would be the worst of all possible worlds, but Sir John would probably prefer it to living where my job is.

Now that the cat situation is less fraught, it might be easier to spend time in my home state during academic-calendar breaks.  I’d like to see if that would make me more contented with the midwest (I loved N&M’s remark about the vampire-like partner who needs to sleep in home soil), or if it would increase my hankering after the flora of home.

I suspect I am a person who gets restless wherever she is.  I can love a place and have roots there, and still want to be somewhere else for awhile.  And I truly crave cities.  I love their energy.  I would have taken a job anywhere, but I’m not sure I would have stayed in some of the places I interviewed.  It might have been worth it to leave the profession.  But who knows?  The only path is the one you’re on.


10 thoughts on “Choosing places

  1. In graduate school they used to threaten me with living in places like Madison, WI, and Ann Arbor, MI. I would have to live in little towns of horror like that, they said, and do research, and it would all be just terrible. Here in Maringouin we do not have a Whole Foods or a research library, but I can catch my own shrimp and crabs. I would like a research library and a sane university.

      1. Yes, I know. They feared snow and coastlessness, and figured I would. They should have made more threatening threats.

  2. …but seriously DEH, now I’ve speed read your series on choosing places, what has one sacrificed, and so on, and it was very interesting.

    Re your boyfriend, the one who decided you were cold because you were working on tenure — s***, THAT was all my silly therapist meant, all that time ago!!! Dayum.

      1. Said shrink was (is) located in N.O. but hailed from Abbeville, LA, and was gay. At the time I thought the gay factor had to mean he would have gotten over residual misogyny but that was a very naive assumption on my part.

        I figured out later that Cajun (Abbeville!) is the worst of all possible worlds in terms of patrarchy: Southern weirdness *plus* Latin weirdness!!! 😉

      2. I hate to say it, but sometimes gay men are worse than straight men. They can live in their own little masculine enclave, without the day-to-day contact with wives, girlfriends, and daughters that sometimes makes inroads on the attitudes of straight men (obviously this depends on the men; nothing will change principled patriarchy, but merely thoughtless patriarchy is remarkably amenable to change when the beloved daughter encounters sexism). And their idea of Woman is therefore mainly their mother, with whatever mommy-issues are attached: the Madonna, the neglectful one, the smotherer, on and on.

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