I thought about holding off on this till Friday and making it part of the week’s writing group theme post. But I wanted to put something up just because it’s the 29th of February, which doesn’t happen very often. And so, because I would like to think that this is also a rare event*, I will just tell you: I got turned down for the fellowship I applied for last fall.
I’m not taking it personally. It’s a good project, on which I’ve had enthusiastic support from people who know the field. I’ll keep working on it. I’ve asked for feedback and I will apply again for this and other fellowships next year (the trick is that I need to be at home or close to home; can’t do year-long residential things far away).
The main disappointment is knowing that, because of teaching this summer, I’m going to have very little teaching-free time in which to write until summer 2013. So, I’m back to juggling commitments, thinking about how to balance the needs of students against my need for writing time, trying to work out teaching schedules that make it possible for me to meet classes, attend committee meetings, commute only 3 days a week, and manage writing and the rest of my life, and all the usual jazz. I already hate my schedule for next fall.
Never mind the hugs and sympathy. It’s not that big a deal, and the only thing that will help the particular brand of hurt feelings I have is getting more publications (or another fellowship). “Showing them” has always been a good motivator for me. So I’m off to write some more.
*I know rejection is not that rare. Nonetheless, part of my strategy for dealing with this one is to say it’s a 29-Feb kind of event.